Men and women have a different approach at work and much of it stems from men being logical while women are emotional.
Once again, I must clarify that I’m not saying ‘all’ men or ‘all’ women but, on average, this is how it all shakes out.
William D. Hamilton, an Oxford evolutionary scientist, said that there are ‘people people and things people.’ And, recent research from professors at the universities of Cambridge and Simon Fraser overwhelmingly shows that ‘people people’ are women and ‘things people’ are men.
Men’s perception that creating logistical systems is appropriate for the workplace but, expressing emotion is not, can be a stumbling block hampering the progress of women.
Shaunti Feldhahn, who wrote “The Male Factor,” says that most men can’t process logic and emotion at the same time so they think that you are irrational if you are emotional.
Women need to be aware of this bias and manage their image to be considered leadership material. I observed this personally when serving on a CEO search committee for an organization. We had a number of applications and the strongest resume was from a woman, who had a lot of previous experience.
However, in the interview, she got really passionate about the position and what could be done and the guys on the committee got scared. When it came time to choose a candidate, I was out-voted and we hired a logical guy with no experience.
It’s too bad because logic makes us think while emotion makes us act and our organization certainly didn’t accomplish much under the logical CEO.
So, while emotion is an attribute that motivates us to move forward, it is still considered the ugly stepsister at the office. When women get emotional they need to be aware of what is happening and remember to reassure the men they work with.
For example, I always found it helpful to stop and acknowledge that I was being passionate about my topic and then say, “Now let me tell you why this makes sense logically – here’s reason A, B, and C.” When I did that, the guys in the boardroom visibly relaxed and listened more openly.
Each of us should strive to have a good balance between emotion and logic in all our decisions but, be aware that when you are working with men, it is important to be logical and keep your emotions in check. Doesn’t this make sense both emotionally and logically?
Related posts:
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
THAT was a REAL pulling up by the boot-straps moment. That men cannot process logic and emotion at the same time so women are perceived as irrational when emotional. That explains so much. It really was an a-ha moment of why I have spent my married and family life with that certain roll of the eye from husband and sons when I was getting emotional and passionate about something. I always thought it was a CHOICE they made and NEVER considered until now that perhaps that it was just the way their eyes were wired – ha! I thought the back-up ‘of now let me tell you why this makes sense logically’ worth its weight in gold. This has really impacted me. Living in an intimate world of men again with all family together again I had forgotten how much a man’s eye can roll in his head!!!!!!! We’ll talk about my rolling eye another time – ha!
Yes- processing emotion is a primary difference between men and women. And women have a wealth of emotion so we have a major disconnect. We don’t want to give up our emotion as passion gets us out of bed in the morning and drives us forward. It gives us endurance to make things happen that we never thought possible. But we must remember our audience- they will distrust what they can’t realte to and that comes down to whatever we express with emotion. We can bring men along but only if we say it logically. Works at home and at the office. Thanks for your comment! BA
It’s not that women ‘have more emotion’ it’s that we are better connected to the emotional parts of our brain, and use all of these connections in our decision making and problem solving. Men think that they are not emotional, but they’re in denial, because they have decided that emotions are feminine, and all feminine attributes are to be avoided, if not outright reviled. I remember being in a board room once where a male colleague was getting ‘emotional’ the male way – getting furious! Yelling, pounding the table. When I said “getting emotional wasn’t going to solve this” he went apoplectic! The reality is, if you are human, you process every incoming thought as either threat or benefit, and you align these thoughts to subconscious regions of your brain where you have experienced a pleasant or unpleasant experience associated with that thought and then you respond accordingly. That’s emotional, and we ALL do it. Women are more prone to display it, and men hide it, unless it’s anger. That’s about the only emotion our society has allowed men to have. And that’s truly sad.
Yes, Kathleen I can relate! I remember one situation specifically which happened with a guy in my company. We had polar opposite positions on an issue and neither of us were moving. He finally exploded, “We’ll talk about this later when you aren’t so emotional!” Then he stormed out of my office. Calling women emotional is one of the most pervasive and limiting stereotypes we face. It is an easy way to dismiss us.
I appreciate your information on all incoming thoughts being evaluated as either a “benefit or threat”. I have always used the words “love or fear” but your words are much more appropriate in a business context. And I also agree that men think that all feminine attributes are to be avoided. My dream is that men will accept the feminine in themselves because when they do they will see the value in it for the rest of the world as well! Thanks for the discussion, BA