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When our external actions flow from our internal talents, we are in a state I call "Effortless Energy." This state, wherein things just seem to "flow" easily, comes from taking the Six Stilletto Steps.
 
My understanding of this concept evolved from my weight issues. You see, I have gained and lost 100 pounds on two separate occasions. I initially gained a hundred pounds when I was pregnant, but it came off easily afterwards; at the time I was working in a job I liked, took time to be with supportive friends, and maintained a regular spiritual practice. Later, though, I took a job I didn't feel qualified for, and my obsession with professional success resulted in an attachment to the outside world that threw me out of balance. I began gaining 10 pounds a year until I'd gained back all of the 100 pounds I'd lost after the birth of my children. It took retirement for me to finally turn my focus back on myself, and once again I dropped a hundred pounds. I'd managed to do the impossible twice.
 
In both cases the balance between my internal and external worlds was key, and now I have written an e-book on my weight-loss experiences. You see, in looking back on my dual weight-loss successes I developed a methodology that anyone could follow. These experiences ultimately became the basis of the Six Stilletto Steps, and they will help you to make positive changes in any aspect of your life. For me this meant losing weight, but for you it could be a different issue entirely. When we align our actions with our heart's desire, we will find solid footing to attain our goals.
 
Here's a summary of the Six Stilletto Steps, and how they applied to my weight loss:
 
Step 1: Self-Awareness. Self-Awareness means discovering what things, people, and activities in your life fill you with energy. It's important to pay attention to both internal and external signals. In the case of my weight loss, this meant realizing that adventure travel gave me energy - and that my weight was preventing me from doing it.
 
Step 2: Self-Acceptance. Self-Acceptance means accepting what you've learned about yourself in Step 1, focusing on what you are good at, and acknowledging that it represents an impetus for change. While I was happy with how I looked, I accepted that I would not be able to enjoy my retirement until I lost some weight. Acceptance releases rejuvenating energy.
 
Step 3: Self-Assurance. In Step 3 you go outside of yourself to find friends and family who will validate your goals. We all need "mirrors" to reflect our internal knowledge, and these people will be there to support you; their energy will boost yours when it is getting low. My Self-Assurance came from the wisdom of mentors who had been there before, as well as companions who shared my new approach to food. They provided moral and logistical help when I need it.
 
Step 4: Self-Care. Before setting out on your quest, it's important to properly equip yourself by "filling your tool bag." This can mean everything from helpful sayings and mantras to the specifics of a diet plan. When the going gets tough, you'll need to reach into your bag and produce the best tool for the job. It will reconnect you with your energy source.
 
Step 5: Self-Reliance. Having finished preparing, Step 5 is the point at which you set out on your quest. It embodies the masculine principle of taking bold and decisive action in the outside world. If you're anything like me, you'll find yourself tested almost immediately; Self-Reliance is about calling upon the preparation of the first four steps to pass these tests. In my case, I cracked my ankle just a few weeks into my exercise program, and my ability to overcome this hardship gave me the strength to meet further challenges along the way.
 
Step 6: Self-Celebration. The quest doesn't end when you've accomplished your goal! Celebrating your accomplishments is important, and self-celebration takes two forms: basking in the glory of your newfound effortless energy through laughter and gratitude, and taking time to provide a hand-up to others. In my case, this meant participating in the adventure travel that I couldn't enjoy at my previous weight, and thanking those who helped me accomplish my goals. And writing this e-book is my way of "paying it forward" to others seeking to transform themselves.
 
When I tell people about the Six Stilletto Steps, they always ask the same question: "Why are they stilletto steps?" Well, any woman who has ever walked in stillettos knows you can't just walk like you were wearing sneakers. Every step is a precarious balancing act, and if you don't walk evenly, you're likely to take a spill. A step in stillettos requires considerable balance if you're going to get anywhere without falling on your face!
 
If you look at the Six Stilletto Steps, you'll see there's a careful balance between inner and outer. For starters, while executing the Six Steps requires the action of step 5, the dominance of preparatory steps between 1 and 4 reflects the need for deliberation. The external action flows from internal knowingness. In fact, even each individual step has an inner and outer aspect.
 
Making change and achieving your Effortless Energy is a long journey, and there's going to be a lot of walking. If you're not balanced in your shoes, you won't get far!
 
My new e-book, Love the Woman in the Mirror: Six Stilletto Steps to Making Peace with Weight, is coming April 28. To learn more and see a free preview, click here.

© 2010 Betty-Ann Heggie. All rights reserved.