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In my last newsletter I discussed how language affects our self-concept, as well as the importance of using both masculine and feminine words to encourage those energies in ourselves. Language is also the basis of how we conduct ourselves in our professional lives, so a good flow between masculine and feminine words in our organizations will also provide good Gender Physics.
 
Three individual conversations with three different friends got me thinking about this. The first was discussed in my October 14 newsletter. My second "A-ha!" moment came when another friend told me about a study in which researchers compared the performance of law firms with their use of language.
 
Not surprisingly, the gender balance of these organizations largely dictated their use of language. In firms with a good mix of male and female partners, senior employees of both genders used a good mix of masculine and feminine words; those firms that were dominated by men were weighted heavily toward masculine words. What was surprising was that the firms where men and women used more balanced language had better profitability, higher employee retention, and greater client satisfaction. This study is consistent with a large body of evidence showing that companies with a greater number of women in management and on the board have outperformed their male-dominated counterparts during the recession.
 

 
People are more motivated in their work when they feel accepted for who they are inside. A good flow of masculine and feminine words is a signal to employees that they will be accepted as individuals; the message is that it's okay to be a man or woman with lots of feminine energy in addition to the masculine energy that is traditional in the business world. We all bring not only our bodies, but our spirits to work, and if we feel free to express ourselves and our innovative ideas we'll be more engaged and the organization will flourish.
 
The third friend asked me recently if men would benefit from the Six Stilletto Steps that I designed to help women make peace with weight, work, and wealth. I answered that the steps would work for men if they were open to feminine language, but most aren't. Men have always been told not to "cry like a girl" or "drive like an old lady." Anything feminine is considered "less than," and who wants to adopt that? It's no surprise they don't use feminine language - it's become ingrained as the language of weakness.
 
Still, I'd love to see more men follow the Six Steps. And since I believe that we should all strive to use words of both "gender," I've decided to rephrase the Six Steps using masculine language so they are accessible for everyone!
 
     Step 1: Self Awareness. In the masculine, this becomes "Trust Your Gut," as it's all about trusting what's inside of you.
 
     Step 2: Self-Acceptance. In the masculine, this becomes "Develop Courage," as daring to be different is an act of bravery.
 
     Step 3: Self-Assurance. In the masculine, this becomes "Make Connections," as it is about finding people to help you on your journey.
 
     Step 4: Self-Care. In the masculine, this becomes "Take a Time-Out," as action-oriented males need to take a break from "doing" to rejuvenate.
 
     Step 5: Self-Reliance. In the masculine, this become "Depend on Yourself," as that is exactly what happens on a quest. We all experience a time when we are all alone facing adversity, and by coming through it we develop a good internal core.
 
     Step 6: Self-Celebration. In the masculine, this becomes "Enjoy the Achievements," as masculine energy is all about the end goal.
 
The ultimate quest is for each of us to acknowledge and embrace our opposite energy and become fully integrated human beings, capable of flowing effortlessly from one energy to the other. It's hard to know how to start doing this, but I have come to believe that it starts with language. Using the two sides of the same energy in the words we speak may also encourage us to nurture both energies in ourselves. It's a pretty simple formula for change, don't you think?
 

© 2009 Betty-Ann Heggie. All rights reserved.